Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Text me some of your sweat
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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