would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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