I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
