Where is the hickey?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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