Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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