that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I believe in your delicious
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize