I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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