I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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