I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize