the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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