Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
