It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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