I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Did I show you my penis last night?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
