My nipple is on Facebook.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
