My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
