Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize