yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
