i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
