There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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