dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
