I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Life is so much better after having sex.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
