I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
