I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
