While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Randomize
