We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
