Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
