So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
