I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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