you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
