Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
