Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
