she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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