I need help removing her.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
