your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
