well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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