Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
