are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
