Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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