Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
