i don't like sucking hair
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
