So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Bring me that man meat
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
