It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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