I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
