Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
