Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
operation harelip BJ is a go
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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