I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
