A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize