wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
