that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
