is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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