Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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