I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Congratulations! We have a period
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
