i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
