i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
