As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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