no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
A+ Viking dick
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize