Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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