I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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