After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
