Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
