its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He has the fingertips of a God
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
