He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize