Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The power of my boobs compel you
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
