We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize