carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize