Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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