youre lurking in front of me
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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