i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
