I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
