in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
