theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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