Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
