is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
