i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Houston, we have a blender
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
