i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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