Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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