I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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