remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
