That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
