Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
