We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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