There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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