theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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