So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
