This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The police scanner is talking about you again....
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
